Abuse Checklist

Abuse is often subtle and insidious.  It can happen intermittently or may occur frequently and consistently.  Abuse can escalate to violence.  Abusers use various techniques to control their partners. Abuse is a misuse of power and a violation of trust.

You are being abused if your partner:

  • puts you down verbally
  • calls you names
  • shouts or yells at you
  • ridicules your appearance, beliefs, religion, or race
  • is jealous and accuses you of having affairs
  • isolates you from family and friends
  • accuses you of lying
  • drives recklessly with you or the children in the vehicle
  • tells you how to dress and act
  • criticizes you constantly
  • demands to know where you are at all times
  • embarrasses or humiliates you in front of others
  • isolates you from family, friends, and others in your community
  • blames you for problems in the relationship
  • withholds information about your finances
  • steals money from you or does not allow you access to your own money
  • refuses to apologize or take responsibility for something they did
  • harms or kills family pets 
  • forces you into unwanted sexual acts
  • physically abuses you in any way (hits, punches, slaps, chokes, shoves)
  • threatens to harm or take the children away
  • threatens you with physical violence, abandonment, or harm to those you love
  • threatens to commit suicide if you leave
  • opens your mail and/or monitors your phone calls
  • follows you when you are out of the house
  • accumulates debt in joint names without your consent

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